Posted by
Bill Crawford on Sunday, December 12, 2010 11:08:59 PM
The Senator's estranged wife came to her end last week, and managed to stay in control of things, right to the finish.
Instead of ostracizing her moral reprobate husband, he was at her bedside at the end, probably the best thing for their youngest children, still in grade school. He went to the funeral too, although the eulogy was sensibly left in the hands of the oldest daughter instead.
Eleizbeth was John's closest political advisor through the years. Her advice wasn't good enough to overcome swimming a Presidential campaign with a lead weight like John Kerry tied to them, but they were better off with her than without her. Four years later, her cancer reappeared, and it was her decision to keep John's 2008 ambitions alive, until he later killed them all by his lonesome.
Through all the ridiculous sideshows that went on subsequently, she maintained a quiet dignity and a control over the family. When she went on televison and answered questions about it, she would not pose as either adoring or vindictive. There is a love that goes beyond these things, she would say.
The end of a bout with cancer is never easy. Pain management is usually an excruciating problem, and often the only way to avert it is to get drugged to the point of zombiehood. This she would not do.
Others helped her with the dignity thing during the funeral. The Westboro Church people, who protest at military funerals in classic Barnum & Bailey style, were going to visit hers because of some of her political views. They were outnumbered by a bunch of people who thought this was stupid. They maintained a human wall between the Westboro people and the funeral. These included some of my conservative friends here in North Carolina, who disagreed with her and her husband as much as I did, but thought the protests to be unseemly.
It all ended in her focused fashion. This was less of a surprise with her, but it happens a lot. The foreknowledge of imminent death often brings a clarity in life. It distills out many of the casual interruptions that human contact is fond of bringing.
That is the profound lesson from Thornton Wilder's "Our Town". The girl who dies in childbirth is granted the wish to go back, and she chooses one of her birthdays, which she had fond memories of. She spends the entire day trying to wake her family and friends from the relative sleepwalk through life they are doing. The lesson is, the human body and mind are not prepared for that much intensity. The bulb that burns twice as bright burns half as long. In this life, sometimes you have to relax and coast a little. When you know the end is near, the ones that can usually ditch all that, and Ms. Edwards obviously did.
Rest In Peace. And here's hoping the father of your children grows up soon.